


It's Hard to Describe the Way I Woke Up

by lostintheverse



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bedsharing, Boys In Love, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, Whispering, penny finds out, playful banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 14:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18994375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostintheverse/pseuds/lostintheverse
Summary: Simon and Baz figure something out.Post-numpties, pre-truce.





	It's Hard to Describe the Way I Woke Up

I couldn’t stop shivering. I hadn’t been feeling right since the numpties episode; I couldn’t get full, I was exhausted all the time, my leg ached, and I hadn’t felt warm yet. But Snow had the fucking window open, as usual, and the room was frigid. I’d long ago given up arguing with him about it; it wasn’t worth the effort and besides, I knew how hot he was just being himself (no pun intended). He would sweat all night, even with the window wide open in the middle of winter. So I’d gotten in the habit of just piling on the blankets and letting it be. 

But I could not deal right then. I was miserable, the cold that had settled in my bones while I laid in the darkness of that coffin driving into me like nails. Finally I moaned. “Would you please shut the window?” I could hear how hostile I sounded. I didn’t mean to sound that hostile. I was just exhausted, and sad. And cold. 

I was facing the wall, but I could feel Snow’s eyes on me. To my eternal amazement, he didn’t argue. He just stared. I sighed. “Sorry,” I muttered, and I didn’t know why I had just apologized - that wasn’t something Snow and I did. Some part of me was vulnerable in a new way, and it wasn’t good. I was just so cold. And sad. I sighed again, defeated. “I don’t feel well, okay? Everything hurts, and I can’t get warm.” I shut up then, because I was whining, and I was annoying myself. 

“Are you sick?” Simon asked. He couldn’t even see me roll my eyes, but I did it anyway. I wasn’t sick. I didn’t get sick. Vampire perk. Not that I was going to tell him that.

“I guess so,” I said, quietly, because it was the closest thing to the truth I was willing to give him. 

“You’ve been sick since you got back,” Snow pushed on. I sighed yet again. I was so tired. I had no energy to engage in a debate. I could still feel him staring at my back. After a while he added, “And you’re limping.” 

“Snow, please,” I said, and if I hadn’t been so depleted I would’ve been ashamed of how pathetic I sounded. If he really wanted to take me down, it was open season, and he must have known it. I couldn’t make myself care. My life was fairly useless, anyway, and those days the misery was far outweighing any moment of pleasure I could scrounge up. He may as well have put me out of my misery, if that was what he wanted. “Just shut the fucking window.” My voice was barely above a whisper, and then a violent shudder racked me, renewing the pain in my bones all over again. I think I moaned again.

I felt Snow moving behind me, and then I heard the sound of the window cranking shut. “Thank you,” I murmured. I couldn’t even find the strength to sound resentful. 

 

It’s hard to describe the way I woke up. 

It took a while, because I was warm. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been warm. I’d been not-cold a few times (a very few), but never warm. Not like this. This is how I imagined it would feel if one were to lay in the sunshine for a few hours. But the sun burned me, if I was directly in it for long. And I don’t mean a sunburn; I mean it burned. In a deep, unnatural way. (I’m unnatural so it fits.) So I never stayed in the sun for hours...but I imagined this is what it would feel like. Like a heat source just soaked into my body. A slow marinating in warmth. And with as cold as I’d been all my life - a bone-cold, that came from the inside - well, there are no words for how comforting being truly warm felt. 

So it took a while to wake up. 

Also, there was the fact of his smell, which, as I’ve said, was a burning embers kind of smell, which was slightly disturbing but lovely. It was him, and as much as I tried to fight it - every damn day, all damn day - as much as I tried to fight it, it smelled like home. He smelled like home. He smelled more like home than any place ever had.

So, in general, it was just this blanket of comfort that had enveloped me, and if I had died like that I wouldn’t have complained a bit. 

But I didn’t die. 

I woke up.

I realized I had never slept so soundly. Maybe when I was a baby; who knows? But not that I could remember. I never felt rested when I woke. That morning, I did.

I wanted to rest in that warmth and comfort forever. I would have, had consciousness not betrayed me by jarring me, finally, back into reality. And then I panicked.

Because someone was in my bed. Someone had their arms around me. Someone was pressed against me, spooning me, their body completely against mine with no break in contact. And I knew who it was. And for one blessed second, I just relaxed into it, because finally the world was as it should be. 

And then I jolted up, because there was no way this was real. I stared down at him, his golden skin, his curls against my pillow. He was stirring because I’d pulled away. His eyes fluttered open and even as my stomach did a ridiculous somersault at how close he was, my mind was reeling with suspicion.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. Even I was intimidated by the sound of my voice. He looked at me sleepily, blinking slowly, and I thought I would die of adoration if he didn’t get the fuck away from me right. Fucking. Then. 

Then he seemed to realize, all at once, and his eyes grew wide. I was getting lightheaded and had to remind myself to breathe. “Why are you in my bed?” 

He looked genuinely terrified for a moment, which both broke my heart and amused me. I never claimed my feelings for this boy weren’t complex. 

Then his look of terror washed away and I was annoyed because now he was just grinning sheepishly up at me like I’d caught him peeking at my test paper. He shrugged, which was about the most (typically) infuriating thing he could have done.

“You were still shivering last night.” His voice was thick with sleep. “Even after I shut the window and you fell asleep. So I got in bed with you.” He shrugged again. “I exude heat. I thought it would help.” 

I couldn’t stop staring at him. I tried to sneer, but I didn’t have it in me. I was still too warm. I could feel the heat he’d poured into me seeping out, slowly, and all I wanted was to lay down next to him again. Damn him.

“Why?” I finally managed. He shrugged again, and I wanted to hit him. Or kiss him. Or both. 

The story of my life.

He shrugged again, and I tried not to show him any emotional response. Which was very difficult. 

“I’m your arch nemesis,” I said. I couldn’t help but notice that neither of us had moved; his legs were twined up with mine, and even though I was sitting up, we were still pretty much jammed against each other under my covers. I wasn’t going to be the one to break the contact, that’s for sure. My heart was pounding, but I finally managed a sneer. He grinned in response.

“No you’re not,” he said softly. “But I’ll get up if you want.” He shifted away, started untangling his legs, and I snatched at him before I could stop myself. He looked at me, and the tension between us was so thick it was like the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. For a minute we just stayed like that, my hands on his body, holding him there, staring at each other, not breathing.

“I mean,” I finally stuttered, and then I closed my eyes for a second because I had to get a grip. I tried to come up with something snarky, something witty, something cruel. Anything other than what came out of my mouth: “Don’t go.” 

When I opened my eyes again, he was still staring at me. There was this silence that was so full of energy I swear I could see it. A shimmering thing all around us. Then I realized it was probably his magic - the air shimmered when he was worked up. He didn’t seem worked up, though. He seemed sleepy. He laid back down, my hands still on him, and tugged on me. “Lay back down.” It was no more than a whisper. “I’m sleepy.”

“Don’t you want to get to breakfast so you can take all the scones for yourself?” 

He shook his head against my pillow, his eyes fluttering shut. “This is better,” he mumbled, and the beautiful git was half asleep again already. I was frozen in place, still trying to comprehend what was happening. I stared at him for a full minute, still lightheaded, and then I gave up.

I laid back down.

I never claimed to be strong.

This time we weren’t spooning; we were facing each other. He wrapped both arms around me and twined his fingers in my hair. I wanted to slap my own face when I heard myself sigh, but instead I pressed my nose against his and just breathed him in. “Stop grinning,” I muttered, even though my eyes were closed. I could feel him grinning, though. I felt him grin bigger when I told him to stop. “Crowley, you’re infuriating,” I muttered, my eyes still closed. 

“You’re an arrogant prick,” he murmured, barely audible.

“You’re a moron,” I breathed.

“I’m gonna kill you one day,” was his reply, so mumbled and sleepy I could barely make it out. I let my eyes open, and his face was right there. It was so close it was all I could see. He looked like he was fast asleep. I watched him sleep, a smile resting on him like he was…happy. Like he was happy.

“You already have,” I whispered.

 

I must have fallen back asleep, because the bell starting clanging, signalling the start of first period. I was blinking in the sunlight, so full up with warmth I didn’t know myself. Snow sat up and rubbed his eyes. I kept lying there, watching his muscles flex as he stretched. 

“Damn, that was a good sleep,” he said, looking over his shoulder at me with this devilish grin.

“You missed breakfast. Are you going to keel over during class?” 

He laughed, freely. Openly. Like we were the best of friends. Which, in a weird way, we were. It’s a strange thing, what being enemies does to people. 

“Who said anything about class?” he asked, and laid back down, nuzzling up to me. With one finger, he traced my lips. I would have keeled over myself, if I wasn’t already flat on my back. 

“Such a rebel,” I breathed against his fingertip. He kept doing it, just stroking my lips with a featherlight touch. I turned my head to face him, and his hand stayed where it was, so it was right by my ear. He immediately started to stroke my earlobe. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, forgetting to sound any way but honest. 

He grinned at me, his nose touching mine. “I dunno. I guess I just want to see what happens.”

I cocked an eyebrow, even though I’m sure it wasn’t very intimidating, being that half my face was pressed into the pillow. “What do you think is going to happen?” I asked. My heart was hammering so hard he must have been able to hear it. He let his fingers slip off my ear and into the hair at the nape of my neck, which tickled. I jerked and kind of squeaked in a way that should have been humiliating, but for some reason wasn’t. He laughed too, and somehow my arm ended up around him. I wanted to pull him closer, press our bodies against each other. This was a terrible idea, whatever this was. But his fingers slid up into my hair again, and I just figured, fuck it.

I pulled him against me. 

He was so hot, it nearly burned. His body felt lean and solid and so alive. I loved it. 

“Crowley, you’re so warm,” I said.

“And you’re so cold. It feels great. We should sleep together every night.” 

I huffed out a laugh, suddenly embarrassed. I knew he didn’t mean it like it sounded, but Aleister Crowley. What a thing to say to me. He had no idea.

“I’m serious, Baz. You spend every night freezing and I spend every night sweating. But when we’re pressed together like this, I dunno. I like it. It feels, I dunno. Right. Don’t you think so?”

“Simon,” I breathed, at a loss for words. He nudged my nose with his.

“I like that, too.”

“What?”

“You calling me Simon.”

I couldn’t do anything but stare at him. It had started to dawn on me that this might be a dream, which made me feel desperate to avoid anything that might wake me up. He stared at me, too, his eyes dancing, and his fingers unwove themselves from my hair and traced my jaw. Then he slid his hand, slowly, down my neck, over my shoulders, onto my ribs, down to my hip. I had to remind myself to breathe.

His thumb moved back and forth across my hipbone and I started to feel myself getting hard. This was all much too much to take in. “You’ve got to stop that,” I murmured, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t. 

He looked playful. “Or what?” 

I inhaled shakily and without another thought, I kissed him. 

I mean, how could I not?

His response blew me away. He squeezed my hip, pulling me even tighter against him so that I knew he could feel my erection. To my eternal amazement, I could feel that he had one too, which only made mine worse. He started doing this thing with his mouth, moving his lips in a way that sort of coaxed mine open. I’d never kissed anyone before - I’d never wanted to kiss anyone but him - so I let him lead. I let my lips part and felt his tongue, so warm, slide into my mouth. I whimpered, which should have embarrassed me, but he groaned in response and that only turned me on more. 

I let my free hand travel over his back, up to his neck, then down, down, wondering when he would stop me. He didn’t, and I felt his arse, so firm and warm, under my hand. I was on fire from the inside, wanting everything and yet nothing else but this, just this, just this touching and kissing, his cock hard against mine…

The pounding on the door made us both jump so violently our teeth knocked together. “Ow!” he cried. Then he looked at me with eyes so wide it made me laugh. He breathed out a laugh, too.  
“Shit,” he murmured. 

“Who’s there?” I called, and was impressed with how much authority rang in my voice.

“Baz? Is Simon in there?” Bunce’s voice sounded hesitant, and I cocked an eyebrow at Snow.

“How the fuck did she get up here?” I whispered.

“I dunno. She knows how,” he whispered back.

“This isn’t the first time?” I think I just wanted to keep whispering with him. It was thrilling. 

“No, she comes up all the time. Thank magic she didn’t just spell the door open. She can do that, too.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to seem irritated but honestly too giddy and...well, frankly, shocked, that any of this was happening. 

“Baz!” Bunce called again, sounding more forceful. 

“I think she thinks you’ve got me tied and gagged or something,” Snow whispered, and I raised my eyebrows.

“That sounds fun, actually,” I said, and then felt heat rise to my cheeks because I couldn’t believe I’d just said that out loud. He bit his bottom lip, blushing bright pink, and I couldn’t believe how much love I had for that boy right then. He squeezed my hip again. 

“What should we do?” he whispered, and I was pretty sure he was having as much fun  
whispering together as I was. 

“I think you’d better tell her you’re okay,” I said, and then laughed before I could stop myself because he nodded so seriously, like I’d just explained the meaning of life or something.

“Baz, what are you laughing at? That’s it, I’m coming in,” Bunce’s voice rang out, and Simon immediately shouted, “Penny, I’m fine! I’m in here. I’m fine.”

There was a pause, and then she asked, “Why weren’t you in class?”

He looked at me. “Is class over already?” Still whispering. I fucking loved it. I shrugged with the shoulder that wasn’t against the bed.

“I overslept. I’ll be down in a bit,” he called. 

“What are you and Baz doing? Something’s not right. Come open the door.”

“She suspects. That’s why she’s not coming in,” Simon whispered. 

“She suspects we’re in bed together? Why would she suspect that?” I tease him. I’m feeling more myself, now. Reality has started to set in, and I’m quite pleased with it.

“I dunno, Baz. She’s Penny. She knows everything.”

“I don’t mind if she comes in.”

He furrowed his brow in such an adorable way I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him again, just briefly, but hard. His brow was still creased. “You don’t mind if she knows?”

“I thought you said she already knows.”

He rolled his eyes and tried to roll away from me, but I chuckled and pulled him back. 

“It depends, Snow,” I started, and then Bunce interrupted me through the door.

“I’m serious, Simon. Come open the door or I’m coming in.”

“It depends,” I continued. “If this is a one-time, fluke thing, I guess it’s better to keep it between us. But if you actually want to start sleeping with me…” at this, he turned bright pink again, “then she’s going to find out sooner or later, right?”

He held my gaze, his eyes full of questions.

“Is that what you want?” he finally whispered.

“I just said I don’t mind if she knows. Put two and two together, Snow.”

He looked so genuinely baffled I laughed out loud again. Outside, Bunce murmured something and I heard the latch on the door slid aside. I lifted my eyes from Simon’s just in time to meet hers as she came barreling in. She immediately froze in place, mouth open in an “O.” I raised my eyebrows at her in the most condescending way I could muster while lying on my bed.

“He told you he was fine,” I said, smooth as silk. Simon shoved me a little, laughing, then twisted around enough to look at her over his shoulder. Only then did I realize my hand was still on his arse under the quilt. I wondered if she could tell. Just to fuck with him, I gave it a little squeeze, and he squeaked and glared at me so adorably I forgot all about Bunce and pressed my forehead to his and laughed. He did, too. When I glanced back at Bunce, she was grinning.

“About damn time, you two,” she said. 

Then she slipped out the door. I watched the latch slide back into place, then looked back to Simon. His smile was bright. Shimmering. 

“I guess that’s settled, then,” he whispered, and pressed his mouth to mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at [rareandbeautifulthing](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rareandbeautifulthing).


End file.
